As with any career field, most of us often inevitably come to a crossroads of whether to keep building where we’re currently stationed or to move onto “greener” pastures. I recently arrived at this crossroads myself as I was faced with the decision of how to further progress within my tech career. While I enjoyed the roller-coaster ride with my former employer, I had a persistent feeling of frustration that grew as the years went by. The place that once allowed me to spread my wings was now holding me back.

It was a bittersweet feeling because I grew up at that job. I had many lifelong firsts and milestones working there. I got my first apartment and my first housewarming party. I had my biggest heartbreak and my strongest breakthrough there. I started my first business and made the most lucrative and beneficial networking connections there. Furthermore, I learned the most about myself there. The strength and resilience I have now were cultivated there.

Some of the friends and foes I’ve made happened while there. I discovered my identity and who I really was as a person there. I found my own way and carved my own path there. So imagine how I felt leaving all of that behind. It was more than just moving on from a job; I was letting go of a part of who I was. I felt like I was losing something, moving on.

I held on for as long as I could until I couldn’t do it anymore. I was becoming drained financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I felt a driving force to expand and move upward from my position, and when I couldn’t move forward there, I had to do what was best for my career and leave. Several factors played a role, such as no room for growth and improvement from my current position; to no longer being challenged and growing my technical skills and abilities.

For a long while, I felt like I was babysitting people more than I was helping them, and I couldn’t do it anymore. Even though no one else felt this way as they saw me going the extra mile for them and understood the access restrictions holding me back, I knew I could do better than that. I no longer wanted to be in a position where I couldn’t do my job effectively and efficiently.

I have since transitioned, and while the new job wasn’t ideal, as it required me to go back to NYC to work (I had moved out of NYC when I started working in NJ), which felt like a step backward, I haven’t regretted it. It felt like a breath of fresh air, and while I wasn’t sure where this journey was going to take me, as long as I could do more and be more than at my last position, that’s all that mattered. So if you ever find yourself in this position, here are some tips and tricks on how to navigate through it:

Network consistently:

• Although we would like to think that the world works on merit and hard work, unfortunately, that’s only half of it. I’ve reached further along, being personable, relatable, and likable. My ambition to build up my technical skills and abilities has primarily benefited me. It was a plus to my future employers, but that’s not the only thing that got me in the door.
• In every job I have transitioned through, I have kept in contact with at least one person there.—every job. Whether through mutual friends, business, or a friendship that blossomed, I’m always adding someone to my Rolodex.
• Adding connections to your Linkedin or other social media profiles is a great way to keep in touch with everyone you have built a relationship with. You can always use them as a reference later on, in future job searches.

Leave on a high note:

• No one is perfect, but no matter how long you have been at a place, work on putting and keeping your best foot forward. Always make and maintain a good impression on the people that you meet. Not leaving a bad taste in anyone’s mouth will always benefit you in the end.
• Know when and how to set boundaries. A saying states, “Everyone doesn’t have the same heart as you.” That also applies to their mindset too. Just because you might see things a certain way doesn’t mean others will. As a result, I’ve had to establish boundaries and walk the fine line between comfort and distance. Awareness is key.
• And lastly, it goes without saying none of us can predict the future. You never know where you’re going to end up or where your path will cross and overlap. This is why it’s essential not to leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth, as it’s a small world, and you never know when your past could come back to help or haunt you.

Keep your destination in mind:

• When transitioning jobs, it goes without saying that the next move should put you in a better position than the last one. You measure that by knowing where you want to end up and working backward. If you keep the end in mind, every move you make will take you one step closer to it.
• Take the hurdles in stride. Your journey rarely goes in a straight line, and sometimes it feels like you’re taking a step back in order to go forward. Locationally, I went backward; however, career-wise, I leaped forward.

Don’t be afraid to start over:

• This can be the most challenging aspect to deal with, as no one wants to return to square one. Working toward something can be the most frustrating and disheartening feeling, only to turn around and begin again. You feel like you’ve wasted all of that time spent for nothing. But it doesn’t have to be.
• I’m part of the school of belief that it’s never too late to attain what you want. No time is wasted if it ultimately brings you to your goals. I routinely look at the pros and cons of something before deciding, which has helped me keep things in perspective. Remember starting over can also give you a chance to go in the right direction.

Learn from every experience:

• Everywhere you go is not going to be ideal. Some situations and circumstances occur to teach you a lesson and equip you with what’s needed for you to progress further in life. Others arise to show you where you need to be and how to get there. Some occur to expand your mind and expose you to what’s possible. Always keep an open mind to what’s out there and what’s possible. Sometimes no matter what you do or how hard you try, if the timing isn’t right, it just isn’t right. But if you continually keep yourself open to all possibilities, you’ll be ahead.
• Everything is temporary, even living. Keeping that in mind will stop you from becoming too “attached” to people, places, and things that are not right for you or even your final destination.

Always put yourself first:

• This is something that I have had the most challenging time doing myself. As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve had to draw the line between my helpful nature and self-preservation. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve learned where that middle ground is. Knowing that has helped me walk that line better with others.
• I still get occasional wake-up calls here and there, but when it comes to my career (hell, anything in general), there are two things I won’t stand for. Lack of reciprocity and being stifled/ held back. At the time, while I was slowly getting fed up with what was happening, I wasn’t yet ready to leave. Leaving when you’re good and ready also falls under this.
• Once I realized I was in any situation where one or both were happening simultaneously, and I could no longer grow and have my ambitions freely respected, I left. ASAP. Once I make that decision, it’s never a matter of if but when—the “hows” always show up later.

Once, I realized my employer was holding me back from progressing with their wonky definition of what they considered a “conflict of interest.” They didn’t want you to have anything else going on for yourself outside of work despite it not being done during work hours. I found it challenging to traverse laterally and vertically despite being experienced and qualified for the positions I was applying for. I could no longer work normally as the constant changes kept negatively affecting me. I knew it was time to pivot. Usually, seeing too many chefs in the kitchen is one of the earliest signs of this.

When you love being a tech and have to decide what’s next for you, regardless of where your journey takes you, always remember never to burn any bridges. Operate in a way that will allow you to traverse effortlessly and seamlessly through the industry drama free. You may not plan on crossing back over those bridges, but the world is much smaller than we realize. It’s not worth taking that chance.